Opinion - New Zealand Rugby and Sky have really missed a trick here.
Crusaders wing George Bridge and Hurricanes fullback Jordie Barrett are both taking part in the North v South match next week. Photo: PHOTOSPORT
The upcoming North v South match is a nonsense. Worse than that, it's confected nonsense full of phoney team and individual rivalries designed to generate interest in a game that has no stature or appeal.
I've no idea who's in either team, or the contrivances involved with establishing eligibility, and won't be watching the game itself. The end.
So what would I watch? What could the game's governing body and host broadcaster come up with instead?
Well, a genuine climax to Super Rugby Aotearoa wouldn't have hurt. You know, a final. You might have heard of those?
But no. Eight games - actually only seven in the case of two teams - was too physically demanding to pit the two best teams against one another in a winner-takes-all decider.
Far better to put the players in a couple of made-up Mickey Mouse teams instead.
Funny how all and sundry complained about the stresses of Super Rugby Aotearoa, but are now happy to pretend they give a hoot about this North v South business.
But I digress.
We're about to be force-fed new All Blacks coach Ian Foster for the foreseeable future.
Months on from his appointment it's still astonishing to think he's actually been given the job, but that's a further digression.
Foster needs something to help him establish credibility and a rapport with the rugby public.
Rightly or wrongly, many fans feel he's utterly ill-equipped for the job that he's been given.
When the North v South game was first announced, I wrote that Sky and NZR should televise an All Blacks training session instead.
It was something of a throwaway line, designed to show how worthless North v South is, but I'll try and explain why a training run would be a ratings winner.
First, there's Foster. Give the public a chance to see the man in action. To hear what he says to the players and the way he says it and the manner in which they respond.
It's training. He can be stern if he wants, without resorting to swearing. Just lift the veil a little and let people see what happens in these sessions.
Hamish Bidwell would rather see Ian Foster at work on the training paddock. Photo: Photosport
Time was when journalists regularly sat through these things. Provided you weren't taking footage of the action, teams didn't really care what you saw.
Trust me, a lot of it's fascinating and hugely informative. Just imagine what volunteer coaches could pick up, for instance.
That kind of thing wouldn't just help strengthen the connection between us and the team, but potentially raise the quality of training sessions the length and breadth of the country.
Teams are very sensitive about moves and calls getting out. Fair enough. But let's be honest: who are the All Blacks actually playing this year?
Are Australia, South Africa and Argentina really going to quarantine here and spend a couple of months playing up and down New Zealand?
South Africa's female cricketers have just had a tour to England cancelled, because teams from the Republic are not allowed to travel.
Is rugby a special case or was that tour called off because it was 'only' women's sport? Either way, how realistic is it that the Springboks will be on the itinerary?
Chances are that NZR and Sky are going to need to come up with local content and if having our best players compete among themselves is too taxing - except when it's North v South - then what are the alternatives? Will they release all the All Blacks to play provincial rugby?
I've been to training sessions - often on a Sunday or Monday - when teams just played touch for an hour.
They did a review of the weekend's game, looked ahead to their next opponent, and then had a game of touch to "flush'' out a bit of lactic acid.
I'm not kidding when I say people would get more entertainment from watching the All Blacks do that, rather than be separated into North and South.
The props who are faster and more skillful than backs. The blokes who should be able to catch and pass under pressure but can't. The friendships, the rivalries, they're all on display.
This is a unique year. From one week to the next, we really don't know if games will be played or not.
Let's think a bit differently about the kind of content we can create for fans and about the connection that can be created between ourselves and our heroes.
With the best will in the world, North v South really feels like a wasted opportunity.
