Conflicts easily arise between couples because of different attitudes towards and feelings about money, says financial planner Liz Koh.
She shares tips for starting up a healthy financial conversation.
Photo: Mikhail Nilov / Unsplash
When two people get together, they often have very different attitudes to money, Koh tells Kathryn Ryan.
“Your partner doesn't necessarily think about money in the same way that you do.
“There's different things that have shaped your partner's views about money, simple things like spending versus saving, or how much risk you take, or what your money priorities are, how much you are willing to be generous and give to other people or not.”
For advice on starting a healthy conversation about money, she recommends this free online toolkit produced specifically for New Zealanders by AUT and the charity Good Shepherd NZ.
“It's a really useful way to start having these discussions with your partner, to explore these kinds of things, which, if we don't get it right, can tear relationships apart.
“We know that a lot of relationship stress and relationship breakdown, when you unbundle it, comes down to disagreements about money.”
Money can be an emotional subject to talk about and a trigger for finger-pointing and blame, Koh says, especially when there's a financial imbalance between partners.
“Perhaps one person is earning more than the other and the person who's earning less can feel guilty that they're not contributing equally to the relationship and yet they're happily spending away the joint financial resources.
“On the flip side, the person who has the higher income or higher wealth may feel resentful that they are having to support somebody who isn't, as well off as what they are. “
The first step is to find out your own money personality type, she says, which you can do in this questionnaire.
“What is your relationship with money? How do you feel about, spending and saving and taking risks, and what are the things that have contributed to your relationship with money.
“Then also get your partner to do that same test, and then look at the differences. And I think the key thing to remember here, there's no right and wrong, so we need to take blame out of it, it's just different people have different perspectives.”
Check out Good Shepherd NZ's Healthy Financial Relationships Toolkit here.
Liz Koh is a money expert. This discussion is of a general nature, and does not constitute financial advice.
